An open planner lies on a table with two black holes where the plans should be. There are two palms up with their hands outstretched in an alarmed manner. Hovering over the black holes of the planner is a hologram of a red exclamation point.

Life Rocked My World Again

Last updated: August 2022

I am an ovarian cancer survivor of almost 7 years. I have 2 fur babies with my husband Dan. I have countless nieces, nephews, cousins, friend’s kiddos that call me Aunt, and God children that I love to the ends of the earth. I have decided that has been exactly what I needed.

If you read about my fertility challenges that ultimately led to my ovarian cancer diagnosis, you will find that we really wanted a family. We had been trying for years and knew we should be parents. We decided even after I was diagnosed, and had failed attempts to save embryos, that we would still work to have a family someday.

We even packed up our life after 9 years in Colorado to head back to Ohio. We would to be closer to his family, my extended family, our friends, and our 3 nieces, as well as many of those kiddos I mentioned above. Just a month after leaving CO, I went back to work. I got to see my brother, my mom, and my sister-in-law.

I then had my world rocked

I am a planner. It had taken a lot of deep thought, evaluating life, weighing our options, and ultimately a little hope and courage to get me to move back to OH.

We had planned to adopt and knew we needed more support than we had in CO. I agreed it was time to go back home to Ohio. I would remain working for my CO company and Dan took a job locally. I would still get to see my family, visit a state I had grown to love so much, and continue to do the work I was doing. It seemed like it was finally time to accept what life had handed us a few years before. It seemed like it was time to move on with our lives.

Then my brother got cancer

My brother was diagnosed right after we left. It made me question everything. Why did we leave? Am I where I am supposed to be right now? Should I move back to CO? Can I be there to support him in the way that I know is needed? I had just been in that situation a few years before myself.

The only thing he asked me for during all of this was to be there on day 1 of each of his infusions. I was able to make 5 of the 6. If life has taught me anything, it is that life is too short. It has taught me that when someone you love needs you, you find a way. That fall I placed my life on hold. Not because I had to, but because I could. I chose to be present for my brother and get him through the toughest part of his life.

I needed to prioritize supporting my brother

During nor after his treatment did I feel that I had the bandwidth or ability to talk to an adoption agency. I had lost my desire to keep moving forward in my own life at the time. I felt every part of my being telling me that I needed to help my brother fight for his life, and I did.

He is now 3 years cancer free.

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