You Aren't Crazy, You Just Need To Be Heard

What do you do when you are trying to explain your troublesome and nagging symptoms to your physician, and they don't believe you? That seems like a crazy question, doesn't it? Especially to be asking those with ovarian cancer. It seems unfathomable that a doctor wouldn't take someone's concerns to heart. Let me tell you when it comes to ovarian cancer, it's far too common.

My story...

I had been dealing with my symptoms for months. I was bloated, weak, struggling to eat with severe pain in my abdomen, and found blood in my urine. This was too much. It was impacting my life and well-being and not positively! I was so tired of being told that I just had UTI or bladder infection. I was so happy when I was finally able to speak to an oncologist. I just knew my misery was ending and life was about to get better. I couldn't be more wrong!

I sat on the table explaining the last few months of my very young life. The doctor stood there clearly listening but not actually hearing me. Within a few minutes, he interrupted me and began to ask about my diet. I was a little confused but answered the question. He immediately said, "I just think you have a bladder infection. I can prescribe an antibiotic and you will be fine in a week." That angered me. He didn't examine me or ask me anything beyond what I ate and my daily activities. I responded, "It's NOT that!"

Again, he just looked at me. And then asked me about my sexual activity. He asked if I was very active and if I possibly had multiple partners. I was humiliated. So now I'm not sick, just a whore? I was barely 18! I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I thought doctors were supposed to have empathy and compassion. This man was cold and uncaring.

Then he asked the next question, "Ma'am how is your mental state? Have you ever seen a psychiatrist?" I was so insulted! This couldn't be real. This wasn't happening! So now I'm not sick, I'm just crazy? I was fighting tears and losing the battle at this point. I asked why he would even ask me that. He coldly answered that he didn't see anything wrong with me or a reason to treat me for anything. He felt this was psychosomatic. Yes...all in my head. I was done. I was in tears as I sat there uncomfortable and in pain. He told me that he didn't see or hear anything that made him think anything was physically wrong with me. Perhaps I am just under stress. I said my only stress is not getting proper help. And left his office.

New doctor, new diagnosis

I am so happy to say that I didn't give up and ultimately, I found a doctor who was so caring and helpful. I was finally heard! While I received a diagnosis that I wasn't prepared for, at least I finally knew what was going on and what needed to be done. I was diagnosed with stage 1 ovarian cancer but had the first doctor listened and actually examined me, my cancer would have been caught even earlier. Nobody wants to hear that.

What do you do when your doctor is gaslighting you?

1. Do NOT accept it! This is your body, and nobody knows it better than you.
2. Be persistent. Don't stop until you get the answers you need.
3. Remember that you are your greatest advocate.
4. Get a second opinion, if needed.
5. Switch doctors all together if it comes to it. It's vitally important to have someone who gives you the care and compassion you need.

Have you experienced medical gaslighting or a doctor dismissing concerns about your health? Tell us your story in the comments.